It is very humbling to sit for hours on end and leave before the end of a milonga because you are too pissy to dance with anyone.
I still remember vividly as a beginner, sitting and sitting and sitting, and being told to smile and smile and smile until I thought that my face would crack into a million fissures. I am back there. I had better luck at the traditional milongas. Spent hours sitting at Villa Malcolm, danced only with Sorin, and could not get a cabeceo returned to save my life. I thought about trying to cabeceo cross eyed for the last hour. Maybe that would make a difference. I was sitting with a new friend, and she managed to cabeceo a guy whom I could not get to hold my glance if I had sent up a flare and stripped to my panties. Don't get me wrong, I truly was thrilled for her, it was her first cabeceo, and it made her night. But that was the last straw for me. My fissures were showing.
Since it was on the way home, I stopped at La Viruta. It was packed, the music was not really to my liking, and after what seemed like 5 years, I realized it was not going to happen. Everyone there already knew everyone else, and the "kids table" did not look promising in the least. Plus I know myself, I do not do well in rooms where I do not know a soul. And walking in without a good mood does not help matters. So I left. Without dancing.
Despite all this though, I am determined. I know it takes time, and I have lots of that. I will keep taking classes where I am being challenged. I will keep going to milongas and doing my best to keep the fissures from showing. And eventually, I will crack the cabeceo code. Hell, I figured out the DaVinci Code in abut 8 chapters, so the cabeceo code can not be that much harder! ;o)