The issue of feedback is an interesting one. I am always open to feedback and want to have a dialogue in what my partner feels, responds to, etc. I try to go to practicas in order to open this dialogue with leaders. I find this almost as helpful as workshops or classes because I can focus more on nuances in practica, whereas I focus on technique in class. This does not mean that I take all feedback as gospel truth. I listen, I digest, then I take what works for me or that I agree with and go from there. Some feedback I have received has allowed me to grow in leaps and bounds, which I am eternally grateful for.
So when I come up against someone who is completely against feedback, it is a curiosity to me. And when that person is a beginner, I am flummoxed. I certainly do not think that with the short amount of time I have been dancing I am any sort of authority, and I don't give feedback on technicalities, I give feedback on embrace, on what I feel, on what I don't feel. I try to make it a dialogue as opposed to "You need to do this." Which is not helpful to anyone.
So why on earth when you are asked by your follower at a practica if you are open to feedback would you respond "No, I don't find instruction helpful. I just want to relax and not think about what I am doing." Uhm, ok. I can get the wanting to relax thing, wanting to enjoy the dance, but if you are gripping your followers shoulder blade and using it as a rudder, and your lead is coming from your head and not your core, you might want to hear about these things, especially the bone gripping thing, otherwise you might not be getting the dances you want because your follower is not going to want to put up with being man handled in that way.
So what is it with feedback? Why are some dancers open and welcoming to hearing what the other person feels in the dance? Why are some completely against this dialogue? Is it that scary? Is it because the feedback is coming from someone who is not an instructor? Is there a better way to offer feedback, or is it best not try, just to walk away if you feel unsafe or are in pain (which is what I actually ended up doing, right or wrong.)? I guess at the heart of it I can't wrap my brain around a resistance to growing and getting better.