Tuesday, April 03, 2007

A question about embrace

This is something that has been on my mind for awhile now, and I hope that both leaders and followers can give me some feedback on this issue. And that is embrace. I prefer close embrace, but will dance in open and will also move to open when the close embrace is a disaster or uncomfortable. But there seems to be a third embrace, and that is neither open nor closed but somewhere in between. A leader I danced with recently said that he dances what he considers close embrace with "room for the mother-in-law" which he learned in BsAs. It is almost closed, but there is a gap between our torsos. There have been a handful of other leaders who dance this way, and it seems that there are followers who adore dancing with these leaders, but for the life of me I can not dance with them. I can not feel the lead, I feel as though there is no connection, and I do not get enough from their arm in order to really dance. So what is this? Is there some sort of technique I am missing that one's needs in order to dance in no-man's-land? I feel like a doofus at times because when I dance with one of these leaders I just can not dance well and I feel lost. And if I try to create the connection by moving into close embrace, they very quickly move it back into this nebulous area. What am I missing? How do I find that connection? Is this just a beginner thing that I will eventually get over? *sigh* the learning never ends.... which I actually kind of like, even if I do get frustrated at times. :-)

3 comments:

Caroline said...

I think, over time, you wil be able to pick up leading, no matter the embrace. The more you dance, the more you can pick up on subtleties of leading. Torso to torso is the easiest way to pick up leading cues. That quasi-embrace you talked about - you need to listen more to their body language- not just shoulders, but the way they shift their bodies. And if they are leading so badly that they don't use their upper bodies to indicate what their lower bodies are about to do, then don't dance with them. Men leading badly get away with it because the ladies dance with them anyway.

Debbi said...

Hi Caroline!

I hope that you are right and that I just need time. I try to not dance with leaders who lead badly, every once in awhile one slips through the crack when I accept a dance form a leader I had not watched yet. But that no-man's-land... or maybe no-followers-land, is such a difficult embrace for me. And this whole push and pull over who decides the embrace.... it is so much easier when I dance with leaders who allow a conversation to occur within the dance as to the embrace. So much more lovely.....

La Tanguera said...

Hi Debbi,

Cheer up!! I agree with Caroline--I had a lot of trouble understanding different leads at first, and I recall having bit puzzled at the triangular-type embrace you are describing. Now I love it as much as the others, and really, I don't even think about it much when it happens. It'll come!! :}